Being selfish

I guess it is not often someone advises you to be selfish!  

So before you close this page down, allow me to explain. 

I believe the word has become misconstrued.  Selfish is linked with doing something for yourself at the cost of others.  My 'selfish' is related to putting yourself first on the basis that when you look after yourself, you are in a better position to look after others!

We have a regularly used analogy in our language related to cup half full/empty which is typically related to positivity or negativity.  Taking the same cup, I relate the water to energy.  When you are constantly giving of your energy - doing things for other people all the time, then your cup becomes emptier and emptier.  If it becomes totally empty you are 'in drought' - and the body starts to be in dis-ease.  This is when you become highly susceptible to illness.

However 'selfishness' is doing those things that put water (energy) back in your glass.  It's those lovely walks in the country, the soak in the bath, the hour on the sofa reading a good book, the 10k run - or whatever it is that, for you, leaves you feeling more energised.  The aim is to have your glass so full that it is overflowing!  This means that there is plenty of water (energy) available for others to have if they need it, and you are so hydrated (healthy) that the risk of illness is hugely reduced.

So here is a little challenge for you that I'd love for you to do for a week.

Make a list of all the things that are 'cup fillers' for you.  Aim to find a mixture of activities in terms of time.  So for example, one of the things that always lift my mood is a dance around the kitchen to two specific songs I have on my phone - 7 minutes and I feel better!! 

Once you have a list, make a commitment to do at least one of them ( and ideally a different one each day)  each day and at the end of the week, just see what difference it has made to your glass (energy levels)

This list is a great one to have.  If you know you have a tough week ahead, or perhaps a big presentation to do and it is 'draining you' then program in time in your diary to balance the energy out with things that puts energy in.  Not only will it keep you glass fuller, it will mean you perform better during those tougher times too!

So please share your top cup filler in the coments box below - it may give someone else a great idea on things they can add to their list.

Published by Caroline Cavanagh Clinical Hypnotherapist and author of Anxiety Alchemy. on |


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