The C Word!

Swearing in our house is our 'lent' activity - and I mean that is what we are giving up! 

With two secondary school kids in the house, gutter language was creeping in more and more but even they know that certain words are just unacceptable.  And there is one C word they often hear me say that they cringe at...

Choice!   (Just incase you were wondering!!)

I talk about Choices A LOT.  One of my 'forbidden' phrases is "make me".  If you listen, you will probably hear a lot of people say things like, "That makes me sad" or "That makes me laugh".  Sorry - not true.  Nobody can MAKE YOU feel anything, it is all a choice.

A few weeks ago I was on the way to Mum's funeral.  After it taking 40 minutes to travel 50 miles, we then hit a jam.  The main arterial road through the area was closed and most roads had grid locked.  20 minutes after the service should have started, we were sitting in the black limo, still 4 miles away and not moving.  My mind went off at 100 miles an hour thinking what the implications of this was - would we have to have the memorial service with her coffin there? When would we intern the ashes?  And then the C word hit.

I could sit and stress.  I could feel incredibly frustrated.  I could laugh.  

So I said out loud "I wonder how Mum would feel about being late for her own funeral?"  The atmosphere in the limo changed and we then all picked up on making crass comments about funerals and ashes - and how we perceived that journey changed with that sentence.

This week was another big reminder of how choices effect people's experience of life.  On Thursday we woke up to a white world and the first thing I heard was "woo hoo" as my son embraced the news that school was closed.  He started doing a dance to the snow god in gratitude!  Other people however were complaining about how they'd get to work, worrying about people making journeys - a whole myriad of emotional responses based on the same one thing - snow.

Which for me just highlighted how the choices we make have such an effect on how we experience life.  No one MADE Eden feel happy.  No one MADE my neighbour worry about her daughter.  It was their own personal reactions to the situation - but one of many options they could have chosen - had they known it was a choice!

When I talk to clients about this, many struggle to get it.  But when the penny drops, then there is a real woohoo!  Because it leads to another C word.....Control.

People who feel in control are typically happier, calmer and more resourceful.  Being out of control is scary and can be debilitating.  And it is so inspiring when it clicks that control becomes possible by making a different choice.

Think back to when the snow landed in your area.  What choice did you make on how to react?  How would your experience of that day have changed had you made a different choice?

I'd love to know so please comment in the box below - it's a choice :-) 

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RE: The C Word!

Brilliant blog Caroline! I came into work that Thursday morning but as soon as I arrived I chose to call the rest of my team and said don't come in!The pavements in Salisbury were treacherous! I then did get a little anxious about getting home but again chose to close the office and head home by 11am. We all worked form home for the next 2 days! I think if I hadn't made that choice I'd have been worrying about everyone else and not being as productive at home as I was!
Commented by: Lynne Rose on Wednesday 7th March 2018 12:35:17 PM

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