Choices

Do you have a favourite word?

Now I bet that is not a question you have been asked often before!  And now you have been asked, has a word emerged?

Mine is CHOICE.  It takes me back to being asked to write down how you would know if you were rich.  Most people who were with me at the time said things like, 'Living in mansion', 'Having a yacht', all that kind of stuff.  For me, I would feel rich if I could walk past any restaurant and decide whether to go in based on the menu without having to look at the prices beside it -  for me that was a metaphor for having optimal choice.

It's one of my little 'no-nos' when I hear people say, "make me", as in "She makes me angry," "He makes me feel loved" etc.  No body can make you feel an emotion; feelings are based on a whole catalogue of subconscious activity that results in an emotion - simply put, a choice!  And when I told a client this week who was feeling pretty angry at someone's behaviour, my advice of "Choose not to be angry" didn't go down too well!  Hmmm!

Recently I have been reading some books by a guy called Dr Joe Dispenza who is an osteopath that has got really interested into how the mind effects the body.  It all started with him having had a near fatal crash during a triathlon and being told he had to have surgery that would save his life but massively reduce his mobility.  He declined the surgery and set about healing himself through applying what he had started to learn about visualisation - a posh word for imagination.  One hell of a gutsy choice!

The story ends with him defying all prognoses and now living a full life again and his books combine his mental learning with his anatomical knowledge from osteopathy.  I've started sharing a lot of his stuff with clients to explain what is going on inside them.  I guess we have all experienced feeling disgust at a thought, or laughed at a joke.  In those situations, the words or ideas were taken up by the mind resulting in a thought, the database of experiences already filed away over your lifetime were referenced, conclusions drawn and based on that conclusion, chemicals were released into the blood stream that made their way out to the cells.  When they arrived they went through another set of interactions which released other chemicals which ultimately resulted in a 'feeling'.  Are you still with me???

The brief answer - thoughts become feelings.  And if you take this one step more, you can choose your feelings by managing your thoughts. And that brings you straight back in charge and having optimal choice!!

If you have been reading recent blogs you will have read how my mind has been busy with a whole range of thoughts based on what is going on in my world currently.  As I write this, my father in law's funeral is tomorrow.  My Mum is terminally ill and deteriorating much faster than originally anticipated.  There have been other very sad deaths that have touched me too.  And at times I have been feeling pretty damned rubbish!  

So I've brought back into focus my favourite word.  I have choice! My brain was doing a pretty good job, referencing experiences of death and how I felt at the time and so giving me its best conclusion on how to feel now - sad, powerless etc.  But I decided to choose to over-ride that conclusion.  Our brains are pretty incredible but they run on autopilot most of the time.  I decided to get into the drivers seat and have taken over the controls for a while.  I have chosen to make some changes to my routines, I have chosen to spend more time outdoors, I have chosen to not think more than about 2 hours ahead if I can possibly avoid it. I have chosen to focus much more on all the good things that are going on in my life rather than the bad things.  What these choices are doing are drawing on difference references in my mind, releasing diferent chemicals, resulting in different feelings - all based around new choices.

It has taken me a few books and a bit of practise to get my head around all of this so if you are still reading, you may well be a bit pessimistic - but that is a choice!  If you were to choose to see it as a possibility that you can think yourself into being happier, is it a choice you would make....???

 

PS - if you choose to find out a bit more about how you could feel different, I'd love to chat to you so get in touch

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