How a tennis racket stops me grieving.

I was driving down the M3 recently on my way to see Mum finding myself mentally rehearsing what I was going to say as her obituary - b####y h##l!!!!  How rubbish was that?

It's been a few weeks since we found out about Mum's terminal diagnosis.  In those weeks, my mind has gone on overdrive; planning ahead and thinking about things that I really dont need to start thinking about yet.  It is exhausting and I am finding myself dropping balls left, right and centre as my mind is so busy with these rubbish thoughts.

And considering that on an almost daily basis, I talk to people about how thoughts create feelings and those feelings create a behaviour, here I was entertaining thoughts that were leading me to grieve before I have even lost her.  Talk about pot calling the kettle black!

So time to listen to my own advice!  A technique I have taught to many clients is the one I'm now using myself - and it involves a tennis racket! When I become aware of the thought - be it the funeral one or any other unuseful one! - I imagine taking a racket and smashing it away. Sometimes it comes back and we get into a bit of a rally but if I keep going, I tend to win the point in the end.  And what I am finding is that the rallys are getting shorter and less frequent as my brain literally learns that this is going no-where!

Those thoughts still pop up.  I know that there will be a funeral and there is clearly a part of me that wants to plan out the best possible words to say when that comes.  However, when I become aware of those thoughts now, I no longer let them keep hitting me and causing pain.  I no longer allow them to lead me to grieving - the time for that is not here yet.  And for now, I am choosing to enjoy the time when she is still with us.

So if you happen to be in a position where your thougths are hurting you - pick up a racket!

Published by on |

Comments form
Blog Comments