What is normal?

Normal is a bit like perfect  - what the hell does it mean?

What is normal to you isn't to me.  What is perfection to you may be my idea of a disaster.  It is just an abstract concept.

But......

When things are not normal it is uncomfortable.  

We have an expression in our language that is about "being in your comfort zone".  And this does not mean it is comfortable!  It means we know how it works, we know the rules.  When we go "outside the comfort zone" we are experiencing something new, something that is not familiar.

I am well outside of my comfort zone - because I am not sure what is normal anymore.  Since last summer when Mum was diagnosed, everything changed.  There were the chemo sessions, then her moving in, then losing her - constant change had become the normal.  

However that has all stopped now.  There is a new normal that is a life without hospital visits, being a carer, planning a funeral - and it feels a bit weird as I had got quite used to the choatic normal.  

But what an opportunity!  

I have decided to create a new normal where I make the choices - and it is so much less stressful and dare I say, fun!  I used to feel that I had to fit around when my clients wanted to come and ended up working at silly times - all based around a 'rule' that if I didn't fit them in when THEY wanted, they wouldnt come!  Doh!  I have just had the most clients I have ever seen in a week, all at times that suited me - and apparently them as they all came happily!

In my old 'normal' I had to post something into the teen stress group every day.  And it was quite stressful!  I now do 4 posts a week which is really manageable and I have had more members ask to join this week then the rest of the year put together!

Normal is all around the rules we define normal by.  EG "We normally do this on a Friday".  Great if that works for you but it is not a written rule that can't be broken - or at least flex a bit!  I had developed 'rules' about how to run the business, how to do many things and the period of Mum's illness meant that most of those rules fell to the wayside.  And funny old thing, the world is still spinning.  And not only that, (putting aside that Mum is no longer in it) it feels a nicer world to be living in!

So my question for you is: What rules are you imposing on yourself because it is just 'normal' to do that?  And how would life change if you decided to create a new normal?

Please let me know using the comments box below.

 

Published by Caroline Cavanagh on |


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