It's not real

Last week I had the opportunity to jump back temporarily into my old career, landing me at Kingston Uni to teach some Masters Students.  Little did I know how much putting on those 'old shoes' would end up teaching me!

On the way home after the first day, I took a wrong turn and ended up having to go right round a roundabout to head back the way I'd come.  Half way around the roundabout I got cut up.  I admit, I did do a bit of an 'after you' type of gesture which led to the driver stopping his car infront of mine and doing some gestures of his own - for quite a while!....before then driving off and continuing to rant as I followed him up the road.

The next day I was working with a student from India.  A very capable  student but not on track with what he needed to do.  No matter how I explained that the particular strategy he was recommending was not going to work, he kept on 'banging his drum' and ignoring me, clearly not valuing what I had to say.

And then there was the Italian student who was putting her blood pressure through the roof worrying about passing the assignment that she hadn't even started writing yet!

And it was later that night as I relaxed with a well earned cuppa that my lesson was learned - nothing is real.

Whilst I sat smiling at the driver building himself up for a heart attack at a situation HE had created, I had allowed his anger to remain in his own car.  For whatever reason, he perceived he had a greater right to be on the roundabout than me at that time and that was his reality - not mine.  He perceived my gesture to be one of agression whereas my intention was to make a bit of mockery of the situation.  Which one was real?

The Indian student - well in his culture, women are inferior to men so no matter how much more qualified I was than him, in his 'reality' his opinion was more valid.  Did that make it true?

And the Italian, she was creating her own reality by stressing about something that was still way into the distance - but to her, the anxiety was very real, where as to me, her skills would support her passing with relative ease.  Who was right?

None of it was real really!

It was all just the way each of us perceived things based on choice - whether that was a conscious choice or one that came from deep down in the subconcious mind it was just  how each of us chose to see things.

However, becoming consciuosly reminded of how we create our own reality, it is really empowering.  You really can choose how you react to things, how you see things, whether you laugh or cry at a situation, whether you empathise or get angry.

Cast your mind back to some of the things that have 'happened to you' recently.  Were they real?  Or if you had chosen to respond differently, could you have changed how that moment happened - changed your own reality?

And if you were to take this idea on board, how could you now create your own future to be the reality you'd like it to be....?

Now there is a question.....

Published by Caroline Cavanagh Clinical Hypnotherapist and author of Anxiety Alchemy. on |


RE: It's not real

I have just done a training walk for the Clarendon Way walk in June and walked into Salisbury. First time I've done it and I LOVED it especially as all the bluebells are out. Just me, Hollie and my thoughts. Fab!
Commented by: Susannah on Friday 4th May 2018 12:30:38 PM

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