Nothing is real, until you make it real for you!

There is fact and then there is perception.  A chair is a chair, but whether that chair is classy or shabby is just an opinion based on your own values - it's your perception.

This can be quite tricky to get your head around initially and when I tell clients that their anixety is not real, I normally choose to do it from outside arm swinging distance.  Because to them it FEELS very real and there in lies the secret.  Our feelings are a response to our thoughts and thoughts aren't facts!

And this is what I came back to when facing two major challenges this week.

The first - a cascade of clients cancelling their appointments.  The reasons, I believe were all genuine; illnesses, cashflow etc and several of them have rebooked already but it did cause a crisis of confidence and I found myself taking it personally.

The second - sorting out Mum's jewellery. Since Dad asked me to clear out all of her things just a few days after she died, a box of all of her jewellery had been sitting in my spare room and causing my heart to drop a bit each time I went in there.  None of it was valuable- in financial terms anyway but I just felt it would be too painful to give it away.

So time to put this perception thing into place as neither of these challenges were making the day any sunnier!

The client thing - that was easier.  Were the cancellations personal or was I making them so?  The FACT was that for reasons personal to THEM, they could not come.  Everything after that becomes a choice and choosing to take it personally was a pretty rubbish one!  A much easier choice - sending them a quick email to say I hoped they felt better soon etc and will look foward to welcoming them back when they are ready - FACT!  That seemed a much better choice - and left me in a more positive place too.  Tick!

The jewellery thing was a bit more challenging.  The key was to realise that I was perceiving it was going to be painful - it was not fact.  To find out if it was fact I had to actually do it!  

The fact was, that yes, a part of me did feel very sad however there were several items that I recall her wearing at very happy occassions and those memories left a smile on my face.  I also found a single earing that I remember buying for her when I was quite young - that will not be given away and that is one of the things that I will enjoy treasuring.

As for giving it all away, I remember someone saying to me that it was selfish to keep things I would no longer wear as it prevented another person taking pleasure in wearing them.  So I have made a new choice here - to perceive that there are people out there, maybe like Mum, who will love to own these trinkets and I will take them to the charity shop with the wish that they get to help make special memories for other people too.  

Now that feels so much better!


So what about you?  Are there things going on in your life that you are giving a reality that is only perception and by making a new choice, you can create a new reality for yourself?  

I'd love to hear what you think about the above - and the comments box below is a great place for that.

Or if you'd like a little help with changing your reality please get in touch with me - after all I am still seeing clients :-) 

Published by Caroline Cavanagh Clinical Hypnotherapist and author of Anxiety Alchemy. on |

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