Who do you listen to?

Do you talk to yourself?

You  may not admit to doing it out loud however I would put a very large bet on the fact you do it internally - that little inner voice that pops up and tells you that you REAALLLLLYYY deserve that second chocolate digestive and you tell it that "you really shouldnt".  Or that voice that says "Its time to go to bed, you have to get up early tomorrow" and you then respond, "I'll just finish off the next episode of Strictly and then I'll go"..... It's all going on in your head isnt it? (even if its not related to chocy bickies and Strictly!)

That sort of stuff is pretty harmless, however there are lots of 'self talk' that is really damaging and I've had a few experiences of that this week.  I've worked with a number of clients whose self talk was less than kind.  They were telling themselves that they were useless and they had no self control.  My response to these comments is usually, "Would you say that to your best friend?"  

This normally results with a pause, perhaps a bit of a confused look and then the answer, "Of course not".  And then the penny drops.  Everything you say, either out loud or in your own head, your mind hears and files away.  If you say something often enough, it can create a belief that it is true, literally becoming a self-fulfillng prophecy.

So time for a bit of that humble pie when I found my own internal voice telling me that I should be more sad at the moment and I was 'bad' for not being miserable because I 'should be miserable' given all that is going on (death of a neighbour, saying goodbye to father-in-law in the hospice and then 2 hours in A&E with my brother - all within 12 hours last Sunday!).  Since Monday I have been running a 10 Day Challenge to get people thinking more positively and fend off the gloom that often sets in at this time of year.  I admit, on Monday morning, it was the last blinkin' thing that I wanted to do but I got my phone out and started talking.

And just by doing a facebook live broadcast each day and responding to all the comments that the particpants are making, I feel incredibly upbeat.  The loss of Jeremy is sad, but his pain is over.  Geoff is in no pain and more than ready to pass over and at peace with dieing - what more could you ask for?  My brother - we got the problem sorted and went out for a pizza - something we wouldnt have done had he not been in A&E.

One of the common phrases I use is "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it".  Life has been 'happening' big time but when I heard that voice telling me to not be so happy, it was disrespectful, I made sure I had the last word and it has gone very quiet now!!

What do you tell yourself regularly?  Would you say the same thing to a friend?  If not, it's time to be your own best friend!

Published by on |


Comments form
Blog Comments