3 questions to end the year with

"If only I had known then what I know now." 

I wonder how many of us have said or thought something similar?

This is a time of year when people tend to naturally reflect on things as the year draws to an end.  A lovely friend asked me to reflect back on the decade and that was actually quite scary to acknowledge everything that had changed.  10 years ago I had not even done my hypnotherapy training.  Nick hadn't done his year in Afghanistan and all that brought to us as a family.  Mum was still healthy and vibrant.

As I reflect back, there was a lot of pain I noticed but what I really saw was how much I had learned and how totally different life was now because of all of those experiences.

And what that little reflection did for me was to reinforce a phrase I often use with clients:  "Learn from the past so you can improve the future."

End of a decade aside, there are three questions that I often reflect on at this time of year:

- What thing are you most proud of this year?
- What went wrong that you have learned from?
- What one thing is not serving you that should stay in this year and not find its way into the next one?

For me, it is that middle question that is easiest to answer.  There has been A LOT that went wrong and the learning from it, whilst painful at times has been invaluable (remember that song, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...?)

I often use the metaphor of life being like a book and this time of the year we are coming to the end of a chapter.  In next year's chapter, many of the characters in your book will continue to be part of your story.  Some characters may not feature, new ones come in but ultimately it is YOUR story, so write it well.  And the story will be all the stronger if you learn from the past so that the next chapter sees you wiser, stronger and more resourceful - for that is what learning achieves.

As for resolutions, a common reason for these having fallen by the wayside is a focus on what you want to change rather than what is causing the current behaviour.  Hence it is not about giving up smoking but understanding why you choose to smoke now.  Hence that last question is really powerful - if a little tricky sometimes!  However, if you stick with it, you may find that rather than a resolution, you create a deeper understanding that just might lead you to making a life changing decision!

I wish you all the best in being the author of an amazing new chapter in life - and that can start today rather than the 1st Jan!

Published by Caroline Cavanagh Clinical Hypnotherapist and author of Anxiety Alchemy. on |

Comments form
Blog Comments